I’m late, I’m late for a very important date! Or so it would appear!
I’m feeling very behind – so much so that I can see my future self, who is currently drinking mimosa’s without me. How unfair is that?!
I’m still winding down after the epicness of 2013, and not quite sure how to proceed. So much so, that I almost threw in the towel. The operative word: almost. I have learned that I don’t do well with overwhelm. Especially with being self-employed and not having employees. Or an extra set of hands. I’ve learned that when I become overwhelmed, and I’m talking more than just an extra item or two on my plate, I cease all things, curl up into a ball and do nothing. And the nothing can last from several hours to several days to even several weeks. In which, I eat a lot of crap, don’t go to the gym, drink wayyyy too much coffee and play hours of mind-numbing Facebook games. The days pass, and although I know there are things that I could be doing, even small things, I get into the habit of telling myself that it will get done tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, and it’s the same vicious cycle.
And because of that, January has been my worst month ever, as far as business is concerned. On the home, kid and love front, things couldn’t be more fabulous. I am happy.
Work life, I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t feeling my best. Sales died off after Christmas, which they always do – so this wasn’t anything new for me. However, the rate at which they took an epic nose-dive off a cliff was mind blowing. It felt as if my business, and all of the pretty, sparkly, awesome things I made were no longer visible to anyone. Anywhere. Because of that, the vicious internal dialogue began. Try as I might, there was no way to shut it off. There wasn’t a way to focus on anything else. I was being consumed by my own negativity, which was added to by the very degrading things that were being said to me (and about me) by those around me. It’s really hard to stop digging once everyone (or so it seemed) jumped on the “Bash Lyenne” Bandwagon. And believe me when I say, that wasn’t fun.
I almost gave up. I was ready to box up all of my finished pieces, and all of my supplies, have a “last ditch” online sale of sorts, and burn whatever was left. I felt like I had failed and that there wasn’t any way out of it. Not realizing that all I had to do was stand up to keep from drowning.
I’m not sure what exactly changed. I’m not sure if it was an article that I had read, or something I had pinned over on Pinterest – but something changed. It was time.
I finally stood up. I finally stopped digging.
I am now on a mission, and I refuse to give up. I refuse to bail on myself and on my dreams and on my future. I deserve better. Krysta Marie Designs, deserves better.
With that, plenty of changes on the business front will be occurring. I will let you know about each of them as they happen and as I’m able to discuss them.
Change #1 – this blog. It’s about to get the biggest kick in butt as far as design and functionality.
I hope you’ve all been well while I’ve been away.